Skip to main content

Some Weekends

It looks like rain. Your throat hurts. The prawns are off. The cheese is bland. The wine is past its best. I get my period. You burn your arm. The promised sunshine never comes. We lose the planning appeal. The Aberdeen Angus steaks are rancid. I shout. The TV loses its sound. In the middle of the night the alarm goes off. Your throat still hurts. It rains. The mango is rotten at the core.

break
in the rain
birdsong

frogpond - Volume 31:2, 2008

Comments

  1. jem15 July 2008 at 13:02

    I defy anyone not to relate to this at some point! Great writing. Set off perfectly by that release of tense breath at the end.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lynne Rees18 July 2008 at 09:31

    Thanks, jem. We did end up laughing... eventually!

    ReplyDelete
  3. josh23 July 2008 at 23:49

    Lynne,

    I especially like how the terseness of your sentences in the prose echoes the emotional subject matter.

    The haiku also echoes that terseness and I wonder if you considered (or why not) going the other direction with it. That is, a 'ku with longer lines, more poetic flow.

    Like jem, I appreciate the release at the end.

    Laughter is damn good medicine, isn't it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crafty Green Poet1 August 2008 at 07:41

    I love this, partly because i can relate so well but also because the way the haiku changes both the form and the mood of the piece is just so right...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lynne Rees1 August 2008 at 10:47

    Hi Josh, and cgp, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate your insights and responses.

    Yep, laughter is the best, and only way, sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. yozh4 May 2010 at 20:10

    This haiku is so short and so perfect. Thanks.
    --Melissa
    http://haikuproject.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lynne Rees4 May 2010 at 20:12

    Thank you, Melissa.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Consolidation & Simplification

Since January 2020 all my work - haiku writing, poetry, prose, imaginative and non-fiction writing - has been posted on my website   Lynne Rees .  Please feel free to share anything from this archive, or my main site, but I'd be grateful if you could credit me as the writer and link back to the source.  Thank you 🙏 Lynne 
Post a Comment
Read more

haibun ~ Playing Lego Minecraft with Morgan

There’s only a portal of black obsidian between the zombies and lava in The Dimension of The Nether and The Overworld where Steve is standing and I am counting his sheep, cows and pigs. But we really shouldn’t be hanging around when night is about to fall and mob attacks are imminent: Blazes and Creepers, Spiders from The Cave, all ready to descend on The Farm.  autism spectrum my nephew names all the monsters It’s time to lock up the animals, he says, time to close doors and windows, so I turn Steve around and notice he’s clutching a tiny baguette, something that fills me with unaccountable joy: that in this world of sharp edges and danger a boy has placed Bread in a man’s hands and they are carrying it home.  Presence 63,  March 2019
Post a Comment
Read more

haiku commentary

deeper shadows where the walls meet... autumn rain – Mark E. Brager, The Heron's Nest, Volume XXI, Number 3 (2019) I imagine a corner, two walls meeting at right angles. I can see the depth of shadow there. If I reach out, I am sure the surface – rough brick or smooth masonry – will be cooler; perhaps because the autumn rain I now notice has started to fall. The places where people meet are more emotionally complex, stepping, as we may have to, from the comfort of the familiar to the challenge of the unfamiliar. Those “deeper shadows” may be rich with empathy and gratitude. Eshadows in corners Photograph by Steven Castledinequally, they may be fraught with conflict and umbrage. Brager’s haiku shifts me from inanimate objects to human experience. I sense loss through the image of “autumn rain,” or at least an understanding, or acceptance, of inevitable change that results in something being left behind. Perhaps change, even for the better, always leaves a
2 comments
Read more